Let it be what Thou willest — the Mother
Is it enough to let oneself be filled with That, is there nothing else to do?
I think, I think that it is the only thing. I am repeating always: “What Thou willest, what Thou willest, what Thou willest… let it be what Thou willest, may I do what Thou willest, may I be conscious of what Thou willest.”
And also: “Without Thee it is death; with Thee it is life.” By “death” I do not mean physical death—it may be so; it may be that now if I lost the contact, that would be the end, but it is impossible! I have the feeling that it is … that I am That—with all the obstructions that the present consciousness may still have, that’s all.
You have the feeling that all the time—all the time—you are on the way towards a great discovery, and then you do make the discovery, and you find out that it has always been made!… Only you look at it in another way.
This morning, an experience that seemed to be an unusual revelation and… it is a thing that was always known. Then you mentalise it; the very moment you mentalise it, it becomes clear, but it is no longer what it was. Well, one may say that this creation is the “creation of equilibrium”,[1] and it is just the mental error which wants to choose one thing and reject another. All things have to be together: what you call good and what you call evil, what you call fair and what you call foul, what seems to you pleasant and what seems to you unpleasant, all this must be together. And this morning, it was the discovery of the Separation this Separation which has been described in all sorts of different ways, sometimes as a story, sometimes merely in an abstract manner, sometimes philosophically, sometimes… all this, these are only explanations, but there is something, which probably is simply the Objectivisation (pushing the universe out, out of the Non-manifest), but this also is a way of explaining. This so-called Separation, what is it exactly? One does not know. Or perhaps one knows, I don’t know. It is just That which has created (let us put it in colour) the black and white, the night and day (this is already a more mixed thing, but black and white also are a mixed thing), but the tendency is to put up two poles: the pleasant thing, the good thing, and the unpleasant thing, the bad thing. But as soon as you seek to return to the Origin, the two tend to fuse into each other. And it is in perfect equilibrium, that is to say, where no division is possible any more and where the one has no influence over the other, where the two are only one, that there is this famed Perfection which one is trying to reconquer.
The rejection of the one and the acceptance of the other is childishness. It is an ignorance. And all mental translations, like that of an Evil eternally evil, giving rise to the idea of Hell, and of a Good eternally good… all this, all, all are childishness.
It may be that in this universe as it is constituted, perfection is… . Words fail. … these are nothing but words… . The universe seems to have been created to realise this paradox of the consciousness of the whole, living (not merely perceived but lived) in every part, in every element constituting the whole.
Then as to the formation of these elements, it began by the Separation and it is the Separation which gave birth to this division between that one calls the good and the bad; but from the point of view of sensation—sensation in the most material part one can say it is suffering and Ananda. The movement then is to stop all separation and realise the total consciousness in every part—which is from the mental point of view an absurdity, but it is like that. …
We may take as a symbol suffering and Ananda. And the true state is a totality containing all, but instead of containing all as elements confronting one another, it is a harmony of all, an equilibrium of all. And when this equilibrium will be realised in the creation, this creation will be able to… (if words are spoken, it is no longer that) one could say: continue to progress without rupture (it is not that).
There was also seen in the present imperfect consciousness a state which is the one determining the rupture of equilibrium, that is to say, the dissolution of the form, what is usually called “death”, and this state up to its extreme limit, as a demonstration along with, at the same time, the state (not the perception but the state) preventing this rupture of equilibrium and permitting the continuity of the progress without rupture. And this gives in the body consciousness the simultaneous perception of what one might call the extreme agony of dissolution (although it is not quite that, but still) and then the extreme Ananda of union the two simultaneous.
It is the union of the two states which makes the true consciousness, the union of the two “union” still implies division—the identification of the two which makes the true consciousness. And then one has the feeling that it is that, it is that consciousness, which is the supreme Power. Power is limited by oppositions and negations, is it not?—the most powerful power is the one that dominates most; but it is wholly an imperfection. There is, however, an all-powerful Power which is made of the fusion of the two. That is absolute Power. And if That was realised physically… probably it would be the end of the problem.
Indeed, during the few hours I lived like that this morning, the feeling was that everything has been mastered and everything understood—and “understood” in that way of comprehension which makes the power absolute. But naturally that cannot be said.
16 March 1968
[1] Let us recall a remark Mother made in 1963: “Traditions say that a universe is created, then withdrawn in the pralaya, then a new one comes and so on; and according to them we should be the seventh universe and being the seventh universe, we are that which will not return into pralaya but progress constantly without going back.” (Cent. Vol. 4, p. 23 fn)
As for the body, it is being trained to live only through the Divine, on the Divine, for everything—everything, everything, everything without exception. It is only when the consciousness is linked as much as it can be with the Divine Consciousness that there comes the sense of existence. It has now an extraordinary intensity. When the physical will get converted, it will be a solid thing, you know, which does not move—and complete. And so concrete…. The difference between being in the Divine, existing only through Him and in Him, and then being in the consciousness (not the ordinary, naturally, but the human consciousness) is so great that the one seems to be death beside the other, so much is it… That is to say, the physical realisation is truly a concrete realisation. …
The problem seems to have been to create a physical capable of bearing the Power that wants to manifest itself. All ordinary body consciousnesses are too thin and too fragile to bear the tremendous Power which must manifest itself. And so the body is in the process of training itself. And it is… you know, it is as though it perceived, all of a sudden, so wonderful, so wonderful a horizon, but wonderful tremendously; and then it is left to proceed as far as it can bear. A process of adaptation is needed. The transition… in full transition. …
It is a question of plasticity. To be able to bear and transmit, presenting no obstruction to the Power that wants to manifest itself. …
Yes. But that is what my body feels.
Yes, it makes the body pray, it fills the body with a Power that… I do not know, is like glowing gold that lifts up everything.
Yes, it is like that all the while.
I feel… it flows in this way constantly.
It is perhaps that, Divine Love in Matter. It is so intense and glowing at the same time—glowing. And it is so strong… it is so strong that one can hardly call it by the name “Love”, for it does not correspond to anything that one understands.
I have a queer feeling that it is a kind of… as though the shell, or the bark of trees, the shell of a tortoise were melting, and the body itself is not like this. That which to man seems like Matter is… as though something hardened that must fall away because it does not receive. And in this body, here, it tries… Oh! It is strange, it is a strange sensation. If one could hold on long enough for the thing to melt, then that would be the true beginning.
1 September 1971
For the first time, early in the morning, I saw myself, my body—I do not know whether it is the supramental body or … (how to say it?) a body in transition, but I had a body altogether new, in the sense that it was sexless—it was not a woman nor was it a man.
It was very white. But it is because my skin is white, I believe, I do not know.
It was very slim (slender)—it was pretty. Truly a harmonious form.
So it was the first time. I did not know at all, I had no idea of what it would be like, none at all, and I saw—I was like that, I had become like that.
24 March 1972
Is it enough to let oneself be filled with That, is there nothing else to do?
I think, I think that it is the only thing. I am repeating always: “What Thou willest, what Thou willest, what Thou willest… let it be what Thou willest, may I do what Thou willest, may I be conscious of what Thou willest.”
And also: “Without Thee it is death; with Thee it is life.” By “death” I do not mean physical death—it may be so; it may be that now if I lost the contact, that would be the end, but it is impossible! I have the feeling that it is … that I am That—with all the obstructions that the present consciousness may still have, that’s all.
All the while (it is amusing), all the while I have the feeling that I am a little baby who nestles—nestles within … (what to call it?) a Divine Consciousness … all-embracing.
10 March 1973
Mirror of Tomorrow 